M.

2012-01-14T08:26:00.001+08:00

Of love & misery.

2012-01-03T14:01:00.003+08:00

When I look back on the last day of this very year, 2012, it will be fast forward.

They say, every fall is a learning.

There are many I should have, and I shouldn't have all year round thinking back to 2010.

But now, I know I won't look back in regrets cause I did it, being selfish and thinking of others.

Thought that asking you to be where we were at would make you feel less lonelier, would make you forget about that jerk. But intentions went wrong.

Messed with the wrong guy that comes back with a revenge that screws the friendship cause what's said and told was so one side.

I took off, I become the one that ditched my girlfriends. But did anyone came looking for me and pull me back?

Don't say you've forgotten cause if you've had, all of these wouldn't have happened. We still have this prick within us all that reminds us of it all.

Everytime when the night creeps in, all these follows.

I spent the new year crying. I should learn to let it all go.

I should grow more guts. I should have said it all when we had our talk.

2011-12-20T22:43:00.003+08:00

Once again, I'm sitting around, waiting for things to happen.

Cause not all matters need me to stick a foot in to meddle with.

Sometimes, when this all happen, why care when they never did at the start?

2011-12-20T12:48:00.001+08:00

I'm a conversation ender, not a starter.

How 'bout that? Not good at all.

2011-12-19T02:05:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, all we have to do is take a little step out and things will change a little.

2011-12-06T00:58:00.001+08:00

I need a hug right now. Even for a minute, from a stranger. Or someone that familiar that I lost not a really long ago.

2011-12-06T00:07:00.002+08:00

Tonight, I sent you a mail.

2011-10-11T23:43:00.001+08:00

I think, or rather come to realise that I suck at human relations.

Like, I just don't know how to put words & actions to work together.

Its the worst personality trait anyone can ever have.

2011-10-10T01:21:00.002+08:00

I'm currently sitting in bed with pain, from an ulcer.

To think having combined ulcer on the lips is excruciating enough, one ulcer under the tongue, side at the side where it brushes pass the teeth when it moved is one unique experience.

I want to die of pain already. Who the hell have ulcer under the damn tongue. ME.

Been going on&on about it for days cause it's really really and i mean, really unbearable. Its pain have extended to my ear and throat. Best ever...... Can't even drink water without pain.

Okay, done ranting. Off to bed and look forward to Friday :3

2011-09-15T01:47:00.002+08:00

I just want to live my life like how everyone do.

Minus the bad days and stuff, add on the fun and all the goodness the day brings.

Too bad, I don't have the courage to do so.

2011-09-14T20:10:00.002+08:00

"Mistakes. We all make them. They usually start with the best of intentions." GG.

Okay, I shall finish up my portfolio and get my job.

And not sit around all day getting fat and the only thing that make me happy is winning opponents over Tetris Battle.

My life is starting to become average and very soon FML.

9 more days~

2011-09-12T18:32:00.002+08:00

It's just evening and I'm here, writing.

My daily life seems so blah, like really.

All that stuff that happened back then, the time that pass, its already a year.

But somehow, whatever that happened then seems blurry now. I can't seem to remember the exact stuff like I use to.

We've moved on. And I'm glad we did. Or at least, I finally did.

Dinner at Syara's made me realise how much I've distant myself from them.

Those that I use to spend almost every waking hour hanging out with and talk to, its like we're nearly stranger cause I don't know much that's going on in theirs, neither do they know about mine.

However, I know we'll never be strangers cause we've been through much more happier and memorable events that still pull us back together.

We're all in another chapter of our lives and we're still growing up & learning.

Syara, I know you visit this place from time to time. Please take care of yourself over at UK. Feast your eyes for the years you are there; yes, you lucky bimbo. Find a better man (;

We'll meet when you're back. Like you say, you'll see me when you see me. I'll see you when I see you!

Be safe <3

2011-09-09T23:14:00.002+08:00

Why did we spend the time we had quarrelling? Such a shame, it went to waste.

But luckily it all happened at night where we head to sleep and wake up acting like nothing happen.

Now, everyday, I hold on to my phone, staring at it, hoping to see a message pop out with your name or a precious phone call with our photo on my screen.

14 more days. See, this is so unfair. Your 2weeks offically starts now, but you've been there since the 7th.

Hearing from you that all been well is really relieving. I just want you to be safe.

You're now a Samurai. Hahaha, your company name have such deep meaning, literally. Fierce only.

2011-09-07T23:10:00.002+08:00

Sent the boy in to Tekong today, yes, the place where boys become man but take them away from us.

I'm slowly dreading it cause I miss him much more than before.

Cause I won't know what he's doing or how he's coping.

Its like he's away in some far away land and I get to hear from him late at night or maybe some days later. Idk when's the next time I'll hear from him ):

Walking away from the BMTC school was a tough one cause just feel like crying with every inch I take.

Such a weakling. I didn't even feel this way when my brother enlist.

I just can't wait for this 2weeks to pass so that I see him once again.

So much happen today but I couldnt bring myself to tell him cause it'll add another pile onto his already heavy shoulder.

I'm counting down ♥

2011-09-04T01:52:00.000+08:00

I serve as nothing but disappointment.

I guess that's what I only bring.

2011-08-29T01:15:00.000+08:00

What's the glory of living?

2011-08-28T00:55:00.001+08:00

I don't see the light at the fucking end.

And I've forgotten how being happy feels like.

2011-08-27T01:27:00.001+08:00

My flaws can be picked out and spoken of easily.

I'm a lousy person, never good enough for anything or anyone.

Cause I can never get a single thing done right, ever.

2011-08-26T22:43:00.000+08:00

If only I could.

2011-08-22T00:23:00.004+08:00

You have my heart in your hands

2011-08-17T00:15:00.000+08:00

We always neglect the smallest detail we use to have in life.

2011-08-16T00:58:00.002+08:00

I guess, when things happens, I blame it on everyone but myself.

It's sickening and it makes people sick of my nonsensical complaint and ridiculous beliefs.

2011-08-08T21:06:00.002+08:00

I never hate August so much.

Every year, I look forward to this month. Obviously, cause my birthday falls in this said month.

Cause I always believe that this day, is a day where everyone gets a break; a day where everyone's suppose to be happy.

But this year, its just too much of a difference. I don't look forward to it.

I've also learnt not to complain. Cause what difference does it makes? Becoming a nuisance and the matter doesn't change but attitude does.

So fuck this month and the months to come.

2011-08-01T17:49:00.003+08:00

I feel very much dejected and disappointed.

Everyone makes mistakes, do stupid unforgivable and unacceptable things from time to time.

Everyone expects understanding, but how much can it be given?

Everyone gives advices but doesn't use it on them or it just does not and will not work in their situation.

Everyone expects their advices to be heed, but have it ever cross your mind that it might work on your problem(s) with who ever it may concern but not in that person's case?

People live different lives. Not everyone live a life of the vibrant and comfort. Life is never fair.

I lost my motive in life or rather, its very stagnant now. Living in a minefield isn't want I want my life to be placed.

It's taking a toll on me.

There are things I want to say, stuff I want to do as a teenager. But I can't.

Who don't want to have the time of their life; right now as a teenager? But the family I live in does not allow me to.

The rules and principles I live with still exists till now. But I'm at a very breaking point.

From time to time, I'll want to run away, rebel or do something really unforgivable and make them so mad- but the ultimate goal is to do something that I'll be happy about, something that makes me forget everything and take off that invisible stress and pressure I coop within.

I very much miss my friends. But, I know I can't cross that wall I built between us. Its so silly and stupid.

Perhaps these are all just regrets I have to live with.

People from all walks of life brings a point of learning into life.

I can't blame.

2011-07-21T23:32:00.000+08:00

I covered myself with wounds.

2011-07-20T21:47:00.001+08:00

It's that barrier we can't cross.

Or else, we'll be on the other side by now.

Maybe, it's just a 'I'

2011-07-15T01:13:00.002+08:00

Our definition, destination & ideas never stood at the same point. Never directed to the same perspective.

Perhaps, thats what makes fighting for it worthwhile.

Making those moments count.

2011-07-13T23:47:00.001+08:00

I feel miserable.

Yes, go ahead, laugh and mock.

2011-07-05T12:35:00.000+08:00

2011-07-02T01:18:00.003+08:00

Perhaps what I was told was right.

You haunt me from time to time, in the quietest night, in the most unpredictable way.

Then again, why am I feeling this way from time to time?

Is it cause I tried or is it cause you meant so much more to me?

I really don't understand.

2011-06-19T03:15:00.000+08:00

Losing grip of ... Myself

2011-06-16T01:36:00.003+08:00

I feel like I owe you. To what? Perhaps its just guilt. Towards what? I have no idea.

I'm still lingering and going round the spot we departed at, and realise that actions and words works both ways.

All those you've asked me to try/do/act upon, you didn't too.

I tried to clear up the mess I created, and I'm left there to clear up your's that is on mine.

I don't have the courage like you do.

I eat up my own words towards you.

Still, you manage to amaze and leave me speechless with actions over words.

2011-06-14T01:20:00.000+08:00

Failure.

2011-06-13T02:47:00.000+08:00

I guess.. We are really about going the distance.

2011-06-06T23:41:00.000+08:00

Don't say it if you don't mean it.

2011-05-22T01:43:00.000+08:00

We all carry these things inside that no one else can see.

They hold us down like anchors, they drown us out at sea

2011-05-21T02:31:00.002+08:00

EI!

2011-05-21T02:23:00.000+08:00

We attach ourselves so strongly to people;

when they're gone, a part of us is too.

2011-05-20T03:02:00.002+08:00

Sometimes when you're mad,

you have the right to be mad,

but you don't have the right to be cruel

2011-05-18T22:53:00.002+08:00

My thoughts still lingers, still questioning, still unsettled.

2011-05-11T23:24:00.000+08:00

Maybe you have not realise it

2011-05-04T23:33:00.000+08:00

A short break and I'll be back.

Miss you ♥

2011-05-04T03:28:00.001+08:00

I'm not a good girlfriend. I can never be one.

2011-05-03T23:13:00.003+08:00

It's a sin to build your happiness upon someone's misery.

Its just so sorry that I like building my happiness upon your misery.

(idontgivetwofucksaboutyou)

Sincerly, since 16

2011-05-02T02:49:00.000+08:00

♥

2011-05-02T02:44:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I wish I'd studied a gazillion times harder, so that I'll be pursuing perhaps being a doctor.

Sometimes I wish I can speak deep and well.

Sometimes I wish I can write well.

But I guess those I wish that I don't possess sums up who I am.

Ego abit.

I look/act/speak/talk stupid but sometimes I think I isn't all that stupid at all cause I believe I do know of things some people don't.

Okay, damn ego. Goodnight.

2011-04-28T02:33:00.004+08:00

Whenever all these happens, I always feel that it's my fault.

Don't tell me it isn't, cause I'm most or partially at fault.

And all I need is to know what cause it. I'm dumb till its being said.

2011-04-28T01:58:00.001+08:00

You should bring a mirror everywhere you go, open it when you speak and see your expression.

That's what people are seeing, you like it, they may not.

Then again, whatever.

2011-04-25T01:24:00.003+08:00

Its a rough night, a rough week.

Its an hour 25 minutes into Monday. The beginning for the new AY, which we're no longer involve in. And sadly, I missed out greatly on receiving the new batch. Be it them being my freshies when I'm a first time FA or whether I'm a gl, I still want to know them.

I missed out the opportunity to share with them stories about the school, how awesome the people are and how great things can be. Changing and moulding their lives and them into each individual that shine.

I was asked recently: You have many things to do in school. Projects and school work takes up most of your time. Why and how do you manage to uphold school commitments?

(I've been asked by many people and I never got a perfect answer, but I found the perfect answer)

Giving back to the school by being involve in the school activities is the least I can do to show my gratitude and I want to be part of the school. No matter how busy I may be, there will be means and ways to give back if you want to.

Yes, that's my perfect answer.

My desire to be in Temasek Poly, School of Design never once stop ever since I set my path towards it. It have paved a wonderful 3years for me, awesome peers, perfect surrounding. I can't get enough. I can go on and on about this 3year.

I ended it with a regret. I missed out DOC. What is this!? OMG.

The one camp that started my brilliant life in TDS, I missed the closing of it. There's no perfect ending.

Anyways, my freshies knocked the hard reality into my head, the reality that I'm a graduate and that I'm really leaving school for real.

The day I dread coming since I was a freshie. I still remember me telling Syara: Eh shit, now going end of Sem1, damn fast. Soon we'll be Year3 then we'll be graduating. NO! TOO FAST.

Hey bitch, we're leaving fo'real now ):

My 3years, my friends, TDS is forever home. I'm glad to be part of the school and have met every single friend I make cause everyone changed my life a little here and there.

(Not gonna just end here.)

2011-04-21T16:29:00.002+08:00

2011-04-12T12:11:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, I rather be misunderstood.

I don't put things across the way I want to. And the more I try to explain, the complicated things get.

2011-04-12T09:17:00.001+08:00

I miss you from the moment I wake.

2011-04-06T02:02:00.000+08:00

∞

2011-03-29T02:02:00.000+08:00

I'm so attach to you & I'm thinking of you; every moment.

2011-03-28T00:49:00.001+08:00

♥

2011-03-20T22:35:00.003+08:00

Don't anyone ever tell me to speak up ever again.

When I keep quiet, I have my reasons and just don't know how to put it across.

And when I do, I screw up everything.

I'm feeling the fear again, the fear when A dumped me.

2011-03-20T22:07:00.001+08:00

I'm feeling the flood, so unbreathable.

Cause I miss you so.

2011-03-20T03:33:00.001+08:00

For you, I can do a lot. Things I'll nvr think I'd do, just for you.

All I need is a little more understanding.

Its heartwenching, for me to be trying and you putting a little doubt in it.

2011-03-19T10:05:00.000+08:00

I wake up everyday think about you

2011-03-19T01:55:00.002+08:00

For this once, I want to hold on to something I am really certain of.

This once, I'm not doubting anything, in fact, I'm taking the plunge.

2011-03-13T03:20:00.001+08:00

You're all I need.

2011-03-12T00:47:00.000+08:00

2011-03-09T00:25:00.001+08:00

Tonight, i'm not alright.

2011-03-08T01:30:00.002+08:00

You make me

2011-03-05T01:48:00.001+08:00

With you, I feel complete.

2011-03-02T02:31:00.000+08:00

I don't want anything to change. Everything else can, except for us.

2011-03-02T01:54:00.001+08:00

Butterflies, blue jays, pretty things in the air out there.

Ever since I found this, been humming birds around my head.

2011-02-27T21:30:00.001+08:00

You'd know I'll walk a thousand miles, if I can just see you, if I can just hold you,

tonight.

2011-02-21T01:15:00.002+08:00

You make me happy c':

2011-02-14T00:44:00.001+08:00

I took my courage.

2011-02-13T18:43:00.001+08:00

Safehouse.

2011-02-09T06:13:00.002+08:00

If my words hurts you, so does your's.

And it hurts more and more each time it happens again and again.

2011-02-07T00:04:00.003+08:00

Love & its sincerity, can never be doubt.

2011-02-05T20:17:00.003+08:00

3rd day of CNY,

I have a resolution.

Grow my fringe.

If I'm determined enough.

2011-02-04T01:03:00.001+08:00

I miss you.

But, do you?

2011-02-04T00:42:00.001+08:00

A little face lift (:

Happy CNY!

2011-02-01T01:06:00.004+08:00

I'll keep my words to not run away.

But, if its time you'd like me to, please let me know.

Till then, I'll still be hanging on.

Its tough to go on like this; not knowing what are we all about.

2011-01-30T20:41:00.003+08:00

Move a little closer, hold me tighter,

I'll stay if you're gonna keep me in line.

Don't want this to be over, move slower,

I'll stay.

2011-01-02T02:31:00.001+08:00

Well, its pretty late.

& oh Hello, 2011.

I'm anticipating what you've installed for me for the next 363 days.

2010-12-30T12:59:00.001+08:00

If you love someone tell them, because hearts are often broken by words left unspoken.”

Hey, (:

2010-12-27T00:21:00.002+08:00

Not a goodnight.

I'm starting to think again.

2010 is ending soon.

Good enough, take all the misery away and pray that 2011 will be a better one.

I certainly hope so.

Lost a love, lost many friends, gain new ones and found someone I'd hold on to.

2011, you better be good.

2010-12-26T23:39:00.001+08:00

Please, tell me that every thing's falling back into place once again.

2010-12-03T00:52:00.001+08:00

I guess you already docked when you told me you're already docking.

Happiness can be faked.

My world is falling apart, once again.

2010-11-28T22:44:00.000+08:00

Take a second look, and maybe then, you might just realise.

2010-11-27T01:15:00.002+08:00

Everything's starting to get better.

At least, I'm starting to see more colors again.

I'm unable to meet expectations but I try to be the best of myself, if that isn't sufficient, then I guess, it's just like that.

I still dont see the final point.

2010-11-21T02:56:00.001+08:00

All of these, I can't comprehend.

2010-11-17T16:40:00.001+08:00

I guess when I was drunk and crying, my gibberish words were suppose to be,

everything's so tough and I miss every single thing so much.

I guess, it wasn't meant to come out smoothly.

2010-11-14T22:32:00.000+08:00

race & curb.

2010-11-07T04:39:00.001+08:00

Mayguss Wee, you suck.

2010-11-05T19:17:00.002+08:00

Everything looks fine on the outside, but its thunder storm after thunder storm on the inside.

No one needs to be affected by what you're feeling, for which, they are not part of it. Neither do they need to feel what you're feeling. Its too unfair, and so, I refuse to remove the mask.

2010-11-03T23:46:00.001+08:00

As stubborn as I maybe, I don't understand it at all.

Cause, no matter how I try to accept, I can't find the reason for me to do all these alone.

So, I'll keep running.

2010-11-02T02:29:00.001+08:00

I surrender and go back to hiding.

2010-10-29T01:08:00.003+08:00

This time, its really a broken bottle.

2010-10-25T00:32:00.002+08:00

I want to disappear all over again.

2010-10-24T21:42:00.003+08:00

Don't pick up memories I want to throw away.

Don't pull me back into those dark misery that I felt so helpless.

I manage to see a little light and made small little steps towards it.

I don't want to turn back to look at things again.

I just want to move on.

2010-10-23T02:46:00.000+08:00

그대 사랑은 내가 아님을

2010-10-20T23:50:00.001+08:00

Hi, I miss you.

2010-07-10T01:49:00.000+08:00

I made another mistake; wrong move.

2010-07-04T02:37:00.001+08:00

Hi, this is a bread, no joke.

Its CHARCOAL BREAD. hahah, black and it nice :D

And note that nasty pimple at the side of my nose bridge. IRRITATING MUCH.

Last week though.

2010-06-15T13:50:00.001+08:00

Hai, I wanna remove the forehead post. Imma little disturbed by the forehead.

My own forehead. Okay, bai.

I'm hungryyyyy ): okay, bai

love, M