those tears i've cried.
i'm feeling rather depressed now. well,it've been a day since i felt depressed. since the 7th period of today.
i dunno why,i just feel i'm lack of confidence in myself,my art. cos i was somehow denyed in my ability of painting by the art mentor. no one have yet found fault in my painting till she appeared after she didn come for weeks. when she appeared,she just painted over some part of my painting which i'm very happy with.
i tolerated. but when she handed me the paint and the brush,and after i started painting,i felt the urge of crying,or rather at the verge of crying.
soon after,after much probing,three tear drop fell on my palette. i couldn take it anymore,i ran out and hid at one corner and cried solemnly. i dunno why i cant take it. maybe,its just too sudden.
cordelia found me despite me trying to hide from her. she comforted me. told me what i told her before and stuff. i ignored. Cordelia,i'm so sorry ):
i went to the toilet to wash up after sometime. went back to class with both my eyes puffy red. mrs koh came and approach me. i was actually better. but after she came,i started crying again. this time,i cant stop. i dunno why. maybe,she's like a mother to me.
calm down and worked on my painting. no matter how much i disregard it as mine,i still did it. the mentor says tat its rather nice. but somehow,till now,at this moment,i'm still crying-inside me.
i feel tat a part of me is crying. it make me feel so miserable. i guess,i'm still unable to overcome this.
there are many around me trying to cheer me up but was given cold look by me. well,wasn in a mood to talk. but i manage to laugh. but it still feel miserable inside.
-
enough of wad bad deny-al i had.
now,we're all waiting for chinese Os result to come. and the long wait is very tiring.pfft:/
exchanged art lesson with maths cos we missed the time. well,we plainly forgot bout it.
after achool was afternoon lesson. i like todae's english afternoon lesson.its so much lively cos its not boring at all.
after tat was the 50th anniversary appreciation &closing ceremony. was rather high in the start but then,we started to get restless cos very long.hahas.
after tat we went for art again. painted a little. rested,chit-chat. and we ate some puffs. hahas.
racial harmony's on friday. we still dunno whether we're allowed to wear traditional costumes. hopefully we can:D we'll see bout it.
i guess,i have to really start mugging for my subs. prelim's a month more. shytters.
i need to mug more for my physics,chemistry,maths and ss. the rest,i still can cope:]
i hope i'll feel much better by tml. if not i might have serious mood swing. i guess. my mood wasn so good to someone today. well,maybe you wont know who you are,but still so sorry. i know you wanted to help me in cheering up but i just gave you cold shoulders. i'm very sorry. but still,thanks:]
there's pe tml:] tennis!! wohoo!!!
all i know now is tat my mood status is very very low,depress.
but dont worry,i'm fine:]
{/edit}
one more thing,there's jamming tml:] wohoo. long awaited man.hahas.